I know this doesn’t sound like me at all, but I’m gonna write about love :)

These are just little nuggets of wisdom I’ve gathered along the way, but I’d like to make it a dash of science to spice up the ordinary. Long story short, love may be mysterious, but its effects on the brain are pure science—albeit with a sprinkle of magic and a whole lot of heart. Enjoy the ride!

Sub-plot: I had a trip to Atami, stayed at a classy Japanese Ryokan and luxuriated in an open-air Onsen (露天風呂) ♨️

(Don’t expect any photos of the Onsen because obviously I couldn’t bring my camera there)

Infatuation

The delightful rollercoaster ride of emotions that kicks off the grand spectacle we call love. It’s like a sugar rush—sweet, intoxicating, but fleeting. This is the very first stage of love, also known as romantic love or “passionate” love. This is when you have increased activation in the ventral tegmental area (VTA).

Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA)

The reward-processing and motivation hub of the brain. When individuals experience feelings of love, whether romantic or platonic, the VTA becomes activated. The same thing happens when you do something enjoyable like having a sweet treat or say, taking drugs. VTA releases chemicals that make you feel happy and motivated. Basically it’s your brain’s way of saying, “Hey, that feels great! Let’s do more of that!”

This activation leads to the release of everyone’s favorite neurotransmitters: dopamine

A lovely tunnel on our way to the Ryokan.

Dopamine

As explained above, dopamine is the “feel-good” neurotransmitter and is associated with reward, pleasure, motivation, and reinforcement. It’s released when we’re in passionate love or romantic love. Every text, every touch, every shared moment sends dopamine levels skyrocketing, fueling the flames of passion and cementing your emotional bond.

Interestingly, you will experience the same chemical reaction when you snort some coccaine. This is the reason why during this phase of love, you’re gonna feel the sense of being addicted to your partner.

Well, felt like a traditional Japanese housewife while I’m anything but.

It’s ok. That can be learned :)

The neighborhood was fairly quiet as it was weekday. We leisurely strolled towards Kinomiya Shrine (来宮神社).

You’ll find that shrines are always worth visiting when they’re not crowded. To me, shrines are special places. Because no matter how talkative, enthusiastic, or action-oriented you may be, stepping inside a shrine transforms you into a more introspective, contemplative version of yourself. Admist that tranquil and serene atmosphere you just couldn’t help but pause at every sight and reflect on its origin.

Alright, back to the main topic. Another fascinating aspect of being in romantic love is the way certain cognitive regions in the prefrontal cortex start to deactivate. These regions are associated with critical thinking, planning ahead, and other cognitive functions. In other words:

The energy of romantic love can shut down various brain system linked with decision making

This area behind your forehead is responsible for logical thinking, planning, and impulse control. The surge of feel-good chemicals can temporarily weaken its function, making it harder to weigh pros and cons objectively or resist impulsive actions for your partner.

It’s not that you get stupid in love, but rather your brain gets flooded with happy chemicals that can cloud your judgement :)

On day 2 we visited MOA Museum of Art and then drove along seaside road enjoying salty breezes.

This place is cultural treasure. It showcases a remarkable collection of Japanese and East Asian art spanning various periods and styles. If you’re an art enthusiast, a history buff, or simply seeking a peaceful retreat amidst nature, definitely check this one out.

Attachment

The attachment phase in love, often referred to as compassionate love, marks a deep and enduring connection between individuals. Unlike the passionate intensity of initial attraction, this phase is characterized by a sense of comfort, security, and a profound emotional bond. It encompasses a mutual understanding, acceptance, and commitment to one another.

“To sustain feelings of deep attachment, you have to stay in touch. Sleep in his arms, cuddle after dinner, walk arm in arm down the street. Most importantly, never stop doing novel things together.”

秘宝館, aka Adult Museum - one of the most perverted attractions in Japan, visited. :)

Final take-away

If you say nice things to your partner everyday, it will reduces their cholesterol, cortisol, boosts their and also your immune system.